Big Fat Map
If your husband starts talking to you about buying a camper or some kind of RV, run for the hills, grab the Excedrin, just avoid the subject at all cost! Don't let yourself get fooled by promises of family bonding and seeing the good old USA together. Have you ever watched the movie "RV"? It's a must. There is a good lesson of what's to come.
Admittedly, the fact that we travel with seven children is a "minor" complication that most families don’t face. Honestly, any vacation with our family is just shy of a disaster. I always wonder, "Why are we doing this to ourselves?" Staying at home where everyone has his toys, ample walking space, and a bed that doesn't need to be shared, is so much more relaxing and manageable. Never mind the packing and unpacking.
Well, back to the camping experience: taking a shower in an RV is an experience in and of itself. Having very fine hair like mine puts you at a distinct advantage because you actually stand a chance in getting it all wet enough to wash it. Adequate water pressure at a campground can be an "endangered species.” There just isn't any. Definitely, use the public facilities if you have long, thick hair. I wouldn't chance it.
If you are not careful, your husband will line up the whole family and distribute Metamucil pills like candy since a clogged toilet is a very unpleasant experience. Believe me, I've been there (I told you to watch "RV").
Since we pull our trailer, let's examine life in the van. In addition to the typical snack food, we now actually bring fruit, carrot sticks and yogurt (upon my insistence). Our lunch choices are usually sandwiches, which I get to fix. We are confronted with the following choices: a ham sandwich; a cheese sandwich; or . . . a ham and cheese sandwich. How funny (not if you have to eat them every day)! Lately, we have expanded our lunch meat selections, which makes choosing that much more difficult. And every once in a while, we are treated to the Golden Arches (sandwich strike), where each person gets a choice of hamburgers or cheeseburgers (as many as one wants). Yes, McDonalds without French fries is almost unimaginable, but that's the way it's gotta be when one has to keep a schedule!?
Just a little side note about eating food in the van: I'm sure everyone has seen a house that's been boarded up with a "Condemned" sign hanging from the front door. I've always wondered why there isn't such a thing for cars. Surely, my van would have been slapped with such a sign many times over. It is amazing how many crackers, Cheerios, Goldfish, egg yokes, and partially-eaten apples automobile carpet can absorb! If you ignore the problem long enough, it seems to go away – or at least you don’t notice it any more.
By the way, I'm all in favor of recycling as long as it's economical, and we definitely do our part when we are on the road. No, we don't just toss out empty water bottles. The boys reuse them, and that really cuts down on stops (sorry for those families with only girls). Better exercise extreme driving caution when executing this maneuver. An unanticipated pothole can mean disaster.
As long as I've already breached the no-potty-talk rule, I might as well mention our middle daughter's particularly acute sense of smell. She is able to call out anyone hoping to remain anonymous by asking, "Okay, WHO tooted -- AGAIN?!?" There is usually little mystery in identifying the culprit.
I do need to mention one positive aspect. My husband is always rightfully worried about each and every trip being my last camping adventure, which is why he volunteers to do all the cooking and cleaning. That makes it all worth it . . . or does it?
Happy camping!
RVing with Kids
by Anette Cerisano
April 17, 2009